May 24th 2012
May 03rd 2012
Bon Iver showed me his new tattoo. It is a tiny sparrow whose heart is exposed, and within the heart is a map of the world showing every place we’ve been together, and in every place we’ve been together is a tiny perfect rendition of us with our bodies entwined. He did the tattoo himself.
May 01st 2012
Beautiful Girls
I’m tired and trying to put together a string of words that will sound poetic. It’s not working. I try to read but my eyes strain and I’m getting bored easily. My coffee isn’t helping. I want to lie down and sleep for a week but there is too much to be done.
I’m surrounded by people working on computers all around me. At least they look like they are working, they could be just wasting time like I am. There is a beautiful girl across from me typing away on her computer. I feel like I’m surrounded by beautiful women in this city and I love it.
Everywhere I go they seem to be around. Either with their friends or their boyfriends or enjoying the company of strangers.
The girl on her computer reminds me of the girl I’ve been seeing. She is a writer like I am. She doesn’t look like her in any way but she makes me think of my girl. I don’t even know if she is my girl but she is beautiful and I want her to be. She excited me and there is nothing more enticing than an exciting girl.
One of the most exciting women in my life was a girl who chose her own name. She worked at a café and was a dancer. She drank whiskey and had eyes that could see straight through you and into your soul. She scared me and I loved her but only realized it after.
We were together in a land that we thought would never understand us. And we had a good reason to think that. Los Angeles can be a strange place for people who aren’t willing to step all over their fellow citizens to get ahead. We would watch the world around us and see the people we could never understand and who would never try to understand us.
We would drink beer and whiskey and make love and stay in bed all day and make love again. We would talk about the unlimited possibility of the world and try to make a plan to conquer it. But not with each other. We didn’t talk like that. We didn’t talk about what we were. Partly because we didn’t know what we were and partly because naming things puts expectations on what things should be. We were what we were and that’s all we needed.
I never saw her dance. I never saw her world without me and she never saw my world without her. We only had our world together. We didn’t need anyone else.
We would speak of love abstractly in the small hours of the morning, smoking and laying together in a moonlit room as time seemed to stop. We explored our own thoughts and insecurities and whatever else we could explore in a bed. Together we searched for something we couldn’t articulate or understand. But situations like ours can’t last. She was a woman who chose things and she chose me and I chose her and we chose each other. For a least a small time. And then I left. But when I look back on those times, I realize that we lived with a passion that only two people who are aware of this fleeting life can.
She taught me how to live with love and how to trust beautiful women. For she was beautiful and I trusted her. I don’t know what I taught her but I hope it was something good. And when she looks back on the time we spent together, I hope she smiles because I know I do.
(Source: colinferri.com)
April 10th 2012
Centre Street
I’m waiting for my inspiration to hit me. Sipping coffee in my neighborhood café I watch the life of strangers go by. Walking dogs and holding hands with their lovers. I imagine the stories of their days and nights, the ups and downs, the trials and triumphs of my fellow travelers on this swirling ball of possibility.
A little girl plays on her scooter, cautiously navigating herself through the tides of adults, reveling in their importance. Covered by a plastic helmet and cushioned by her strawberry hair, her imagination should never be contained. She passed me by and continues on. Blissful in her warm playful state. The truth she sees I search for everyday. Finding it in the moments when the static of expectations is silenced.
My coffee is cold but my heart is warm. Open to the untraveled road that lays ahead of us everyday. I’ve been told there are two paths. One less traveled and the other easily taken by the horde before. As I stand outside myself I see a third. The path that I create. Invisible but I know it’s there. I look behind and notice I’ve been on it the whole time. So I keep going.
I tell myself there is a time limit to these wondering thoughts. As the clock ticks down till the moments when I have to leave this page and work to make money so I can buy this coffee and the books that inspire me. But I don’t fret. Just another step along the way.
This new city burns with life but is only half awake. Everyone with their nose in a book. I guess I’m no different at times.
That little girl on her scooter is back. Or is it a different girl. I can’t tell but she is so alive. Eyes wide, taking in the world around. I love that feeling.
(Source: colinferri.com)
March 18th 2012
A Time Lord’s body is a miracle, even a dead one. There are whole empires out there who would rip this world apart for just one cell. We can’t leave him here, or anywhere.
(via fuckyeahdoctorwho)
March 01st 2012
Nazis, Dragons and Cool Threads
Something amazing happened recently. It was the fulfillment of a dream that nearly every adolescent boy has. I realized that I have a superhero costume! Now I don’t mean to say that I have a brightly colored leotard or a rubber Batsuit replica hanging in my closet (though that would be amazing!) I mean to say, I have my own superhero costume. An outfit that I wear when, A. I want to look cool. B. Look attractive and C. Make me feel like I’m Indiana Jones. Because who wouldn’t want to feel like Indy, who is arguably one of the coolest dudes ever. He’s like James Bond but has a whip and beats up Nazi’s! If you can find someone cooler than that, I will eat my hat! My Indiana Jones replica hat… I do have one of those.
Indiana Jones has a superhero costume and so does James Bond. We all know that if James has his tuxedo on and if Indy is wearing his hat and jacket some cool shit is about to happen. Both those guys know they can take on the world when they are in those outfits. It’s their superhero costume. And last Wednesday, I discovered my superhero costume.
The whole story starts when a crazy idea was put into my head that I should not only put my poems online but should perform them as well. Reciting my work in front of an audience is something I would never have considered. But a friend said I should do it and well I figured, why not? The whole point of uprooting my life and moving across the country was to get out of my comfort zone and acquire new experiences and what better way is there than to go to a dimly lit, basement bar and perform spoken word to a room full of aspiring troubadours.
But where could I find such a place? Google to the rescue! After an exhaustive search I found a little bar in Cambridge that hosts an open mic every week. I told myself, “go and perform something there, you lazy ass!” So I began to look through my collection to try and discover my best poems. I couldn’t find them. But I did find one that I though was pretty good and I decided to write another specifically for the occasion.
The days leading up to the show didn’t really phase me. I wasn’t even nervous, in fact I felt pretty confident that it would all go smoothly. But when the day of the show arrived, I started to become a little hesitant. I found myself thinking, “well, if you’re not ready you can always do it next week instead.” That’s when I said to myself, “stop being a little baby and just go fucking do it!” You can see that my internal monologue is quite vulgar. I wasn’t about to let self doubt get the better of me. I strengthened my resolve and got ready to go to the show.
While getting dressed, I figured if I was going to get on stage tonight, I’m going to have to look good doing it. If all else failed at least I’d be able to make a good visual impression. So I went though my closet and put together the coolest outfit I could create. It was similar to something I had worn on a date recently but with a few moderations to help give it a more casual feel and a slight modern edge.
I felt good as I left my apartment and made my way to the venue. But those doubts reappeared, creeping in the corners of my mind. Whispering, “don’t do it, your work isn’t good enough.” I tried to shake them off and keep moving. I just needed to get to the bar. Everything would be fine once I got there. When I finally arrived, I paid the cover and noticed the sign up sheet on the table. I walked right past it. I needed a drink! I made my way to the bartender and ordered a PBR. It seemed fitting based on the vibe I got from the place. (You know what I’m talking about.) I sat down, took a moment, looked around, took a swig of beer and a deep breath then walked back to the table to put my name on the list.
But it as full! Oh no! All that courage I worked up was for nothing. I deflated like a balloon. But then I was told that there was a wait list. And they randomly pull names from it. So there was still a chance I would get to perform. Cool with me. Let the universe decide. And decide it did. Because about thirty minutes into the show they called my name. So it was the moment of truth. I could just ignore it, no one knew it was my name they were calling. I could easily chicken out no one would know. But is that what Indy would do? Hell no! If I was Indy in this scenario, than my insecurities were the Nazi’s and I was about to punch the shit out of them!
Joseph Campbell says that all the dark thoughts and fears that live in your head is your inner dragon that you need to eventually slay. I like my metaphor better but you get the point. So I got up on stage and did it. Once I got to the mic all my fears washed away. The people around me were more than supportive and appreciated my work. When I stepped off the stage it was amazing. I had slayed my dragon and pummeled the inner Nazi.
As I was riding the T back later that night, when I reached my stop and was about to exit when a girl sitting near me said, “I like your outfit.” I thanked her as I stepped onto the platform and felt like a hero. That’s when I realized I was in my superhero costume. I looked cool, I looked attractive, and I defiantly felt like Indiana Jones.
I guess the superhero costume is more about a feeling you have as opposed to the actually clothes on your back. But I think everyone has one. Think about it, it can be anything. It’s what you wear when out on a romantic date or to an important job interview or when you’re slaying a dragon. Now I know my superhero costume. Do you know yours?
P.S.
If you want to know what I performed that night. Click the links below.
February 21st 2012
New Adventures and Occurrences
My migration to Boston had been about changing my life and partaking in new experiences that put me outside of my comfort zone. And that’s what I’ve been trying to do.
Coming up tomorrow night I’m going to an open mic poetry slam. And I’ve decided to put my name in the mix to perform. I’ve never read my poetry in public before so this will defiantly be something new for me. Putting my work on the web is one thing; the audience connection to the work (if there is any) is impersonal. You can read it whenever you want and I don’t have to see your reaction! This will be a little different. But I’m excited. I’d like to say I’m nervous and I suppose I am but I figure, if the people their don’t like my work… ahh well. It doesn’t really change my life. And I think everyone there will be supportive, we’re all in the same boat after all.
As of right now I’m combing through my work, trying to find the right poems to perform. You get three minutes so I figure that’s enough time for two maybe three poems. I’ve written one specifically for the show and I need to settle on another one. I’m thinking maybe the one I posted on Valentines Day. But if you readers out there know of a better one, I’m totally open to suggestions. And after the performance, I’ll be sure to let you all know how it went.
Another fun adventure I’ve undertaken, is that I’ve signed up for Match.com. It sounds like a good way to meet people in a new city, right?! So far I’ve gone on two dates and have had fun on both.
The first date I went on was about two weeks ago. Her name was Jaclyn, from her profile she seemed pretty cool and laid back. She was twenty-two which for me seems a little young but I wasn’t about to discriminate based on age. She was very nice and could hold her own in a conversation. She had a good sense of humor and found me funny… but really… who wouldn’t?! We chatted for about an hour or two and I enjoyed talking with her but my main turn off I would say was her excessive need to explain her how mature she was. Not to say that she wasn’t mature for her age, she did have a lot of her shit together and was a self-sufficient woman but she just had this bravado about her that she knew everything. That she had her everything together and knew how it was all going to work out. And I can’t blame her, I was that way at twenty-two. I’m not saying I know more than her, I just know that I’m mature enough to admit that I don’t know shit.
We ended up making out a little bit. So that was fun! But we needed to catch our respective trains and that’s when we parted ways. We were heading in different directions… physically and metaphorically. I’m don’t think I’m going go out with her again. But I did have fun and that’s really all that matters.
The second date was with a girl named Kayley. She is twenty-four and a photographer. So plus points for being artistic. This date went a little bit differently. She was a lot harder to read. A little closed off but I wore her down and we were laughing about stupid things in no time. But she doesn’t like movies… people like that exist!? Oh, and then I called her Kayla halfway though the night… whoops! Calling someone the wrong name is not something you want to do while on a date. But I we ended up laughing it off a little while later. We left it with the prospect of seeing each other again. She was defiantly an interesting girl and I would love to get to know her more.
One for two. Okay. Not bad Match. So we made plans to meet up again this past Thursday. But also this last week I made plans to meet up with a girl named Marge whom I have somewhat of a history with. What does that really mean… to have a “history” with someone? Well let me put it this way, because it would take far too long to explain, think of a girl or guy that you would say you have a “history“ with and now think of what all that entails. Well Marge and I have that exact same thing… only completely different. But then again that’s from my perspective. Her perspective might be entirely different… but that’s the tricky thing about perspective isn’t it? Everyone’s is different. Now, enough philosophizing, lets get down to it. The two of us have been trying to meet up for quite a while since I’ve been here and our schedules never seem to align. But a few weeks back we were meant to meet up but she cancelled the day before because she got sick. So we tried to reschedule. And that rescheduling led to this past Wednesday when we were supposed to get together and catch up. But again she messaged me and told me she would have to cancel again because she wasn’t feeling well. Things like this happen I suppose. A friend of mine said it seemed fishy, her being sick twice and told me maybe she just doesn’t want to hang out… and that very well could be true. But I believe her, first because she’s smart enough to come up with a better excuse than sickness twice and second… I trust her, why would she lie? But then again why does anyone lie? Damn! I said I’d stop philosophizing! So… my Wednesday night plans with Marge were cancelled… again. So I guess we’ll have to reschedule… again.
But ya know how sometimes things happen and you’re glad they did. Don’t get me wrong, I was bummed we didn’t get to meet up but when the universe closes doors and windows some sort of wibbly wobbly nonsense takes place. Because she cancelled I went up to Maine to visit my brother Brendan and I had a great time. We kind of just hung out; played video games, went out to diner and just had fun. He had his soccer club that night too and they needed an extra player. So I borrowed his roommate’s gear and subbed for the team. And wouldn’t you know it, I scored the only goal for them that night! The next morning I packed up my car with some of my mother’s old furniture and apartment odds and ends. I’ll have to make it back up there soon to see Brendan again. It was a lot of fun.
As I made my way back to Boston I contemplated things to do with Kayley for our second date. I talked to her the day before and told her I would call her with a plan Thursday. Well I did call her late Thursday, around 6:30 and wouldn’t you know it… she had already made plans and had to cancel. Damn! That’s two cancellations in as many days. Ouch! My pride.
But what can you do? Life goes on I suppose… And speaking of life, I need to get back to mine. And you need to get back to yours!
(Source: colinferri.com)
February 14th 2012
This one goes out to all the lovers
Happy Valentines Day everyone! I hope you’re all spending the day with the one you love… or at least the one you tolerate for the current moment. As for myself, I will be working tonight, making sure all the love birds of Boston are having a romantic dinner.
I just wanted to share this little poem I wrote a while back and today seemed like a fitting day. I wrote this when my brother Brendan sent me a poem he had written. It was a beautiful poem that sparked an idea in my head inspired me write the following. I hope you enjoy. It’s called A Distant Call
the song I hear comes from a distant land
a voice of love cries through the flood
and disrupts the life I plan
it calls me to its foreign home
and rips me from my nest
I fly to her to listen more
and lay upon her breast
my journey’s end unsure
and impossible to see
but to hear that sweet song more
would be a dream to me
the hymn of love continues on
and sustains my noble quest
to fly to her and listen more
as I lay upon her breast
(Source: colinferri.com)
